The soul orchestrates experiences that invite us to heal our wounds. These experiences have moments of opening that are palpable, where the past bleeds through into the present, showing us clearly where we can heal. We can either accept the invitation or reject it, but it appears because we are ready to see it.
A beautiful example of this happens in the second season of the Netflix show, “Bridgerton.” A deeply wounded and closed man is inexplicably attracted to a woman, the sister of the woman he intends for a transactional marriage. The episode opens with us seeing that his father died from a bee sting, in front him, as they returned from a hunting trip. In a subsequent moment, he finds himself alone with the sister he is attracted to, and she is stung by a bee. She is not allergic to bee stings, but he does not know this, so he becomes overwhelmed by emotions. He is visibly shaken, breathing rapidly. She places his hand on her heart and tells him that she is okay, as she looks into his eyes. This moment is an opening for him to clearly see how his present is colored by his past, and how this wound has impacted his entire life, including his decision to marry her sister to deny love. He sees this, or senses it briefly, before turning away and running away from her. He ultimately rejects the invitation to heal, and instead burrows more deeply into his wound, proposing to her sister.
It had to happen with a bee sting. That’s the only way his soul could get his attention. He had to be touched in the very same way he was when his dad died so he could see how closed and wounded he had become.
It’s easier to see this operating in others perhaps than it is in ourselves. The extraordinary ways that the soul is orchestrating our healing, whether we want it to or not. I see it with clients frequently. In my own journey I can see how the past 5 years, including the betrayals and abuse I suffered, were necessary to reveal to me how I had given away my power to others my whole life, as the good girl. How I unconsciously sought validation outside myself through men. My bee sting moment occurred when I saw during a conversation with my mother the similarity to the conversations I had experienced with my ex — the same texture of gaslighting and manipulation.
I accepted the invitation to see, in that moment. And then I saw my whole childhood differently, without my mother being my hero. I saw it in its complexity and saw her in her complexity. How she modeled herself as my hero, without any choice from me. How I was conditioned to absorb what was expected of me and to do it, perfectly. How our relationship began to fall apart as I began to live my own life, one that didn’t agree with her desires for me. As she began to lose power over me.
I also saw in that moment how I had needed the specific texture of abuse that my ex had delivered to wake up. It had to happen this way for me to able to see what I needed to see. My soul pointing and saying, “Look here.”
I now know to look for these bee sting moments, to invite them in, and to mine them for every ounce of gold, every bit of healing that is available to me. To not only see the synchronicities, but to trust them as the harbingers of healing that they are. To feel the sting and embrace it fully. Because that sting is the beginning of a rebirth. It is a sure sign that energy will flood me, expanding more and more of my capacity to be my true nature My true nature of power and peace.